During my recent trip to Beijing teaching a 3-day workshop ‘Breaking Free’ and the many private one to one sessions – one of the main problems that people asked me about was their relationships, sharing their difficulties, searching for love, marital and work relationship issues. Of course this isn’t just a problem for China this is one of the main problems worldwide. We all wish to be happy and have great relationships like the ones told in the childhood fairytales, western feel good movies and advertisements, however, this is not reality. The reality is we work really hard to create everything else that looks good to others, the cars, the house, the cash but often neglect the important areas of our lives. We are taught to live outside of ourselves giving power to others, parents, teachers, boss, partner, God, money, friends, therefore when things go wrong it must be someone else’s fault – yes? No not always, in fact we learn to get our needs met early in these relationships, playing a role to be liked, loved and valued, sometimes allowing others to hold our power, yet the reality is we make choices as to how we react to the situations presenting themselves.
Yes we do need to show respect to others and in certain situations we must answer to others, example our boss, teacher, authority – if we are already respectful and responsible towards ourselves, this will then be easy and in many situations bring a sense of freedom with it. However, if we are making choices that are not good for us, the wrong relationships possibly from a lack of self awareness, ignoring our instincts, feel disempowered, scared, pressured then these relationships will create a sense of conflict within. Then this is the time to do the work.
If you’d like help with this you can contact me or review my offerings at The School of Love Wisdom.